


Only In Gotham

by drunkraiinbow, JasonShipsItToo



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Nightwing (Comics), Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics), Superman - All Media Types, Young Justice - All Media Types
Genre: Bruce Wayne Needs a Hug, Bruce Wayne deserves a Hug, Conner is a little shit, Crack, Damian just wants to kill Jason, Fluff and Crack, Identity Porn, Jason ships it, M/M, Secret Identity, Secret Relationship, Secretly Married, Serious Crack, Supershipper Jason, Tim is not amused, crack with feelings, especially Jason, he's so done with his kids
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-19
Updated: 2019-07-02
Packaged: 2020-03-27 13:05:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19013482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drunkraiinbow/pseuds/drunkraiinbow, https://archiveofourown.org/users/JasonShipsItToo/pseuds/JasonShipsItToo
Summary: Rumor has it Bruce Wayne and Batman are married, with the paparazzi suddenly spying a brand new wedding band on the playboy billionaire's finger.While Bruce tries his best to do damage control, Jason has his own plans to never let Bruce live it down.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Random crack for my lovely people <3  
> As always, biggest thanks to GraySonOfGotham and gavotteandgigue, for their help and beta-reading and for being awesome friends!
> 
> Part 2 will follow so subscribe for more!

**_NOT SO SECRET LOVERS?_ ** **_  
_ ** _THE BAT AND THE PRINCE OF GOTHAM_

_Written by Vicki Vale_

_Everybody knows him, but no one knows who the man under the cowl is. And although the Bat is a master of keeping his identity a secret, when it comes to his love life he seems to have a much harder time. But who can blame Batman, when there’s a certain prince dangling from his arm? It may be a surprise for some while others have seen it coming all the way long. I’m proud to announce we finally have the confirmation that Batman is indeed dating none other than the Gotham Prince himself, Bruce Wayne._

_To all appearances the vigilante spends his days between the bed sheets at Wayne Manor.  Given that Bruce was last seen attending an event in the company of a woman almost seven months ago, their relationship seems to have gone on for quite some time. Not just insider sources at Wayne Enterprises claim that both have known each other for months if not years now, several times during the last year Batman was also seen around Wayne Manor, which is located somewhat out of town._

_Especially when it comes to the safety of the former playboy, his lover always appears to be within spitting distance, ready to save him heroically. We count more than ten abductions during the last six months that came to a quick end after Batman stepped in and saved his boytoy._

_But the exciting news is more than two lovebirds dating. Yesterday, Bruce Wayne was forced to cancel his annual Wayne Gala due to a sudden bomb threat of the Joker. A few seconds later he was carried out of the ballroom bridal style by Batman, who was seemingly flirting with his flustered love. Right before stepping out of the room, a simple golden wedding ring on Bruce’s finger caught the light of a nearby chandelier._

_We were forced to leave the Manor minutes later by mutual vigilantes Red Robin and Robin. Batman and Nightwing seemed to be occupied finding the threats and wouldn’t give us any statement on the ring or the wedding. Unfortunately, we weren’t able to talk to Bruce even though Nightwing reassured later that he was out of harm’s way and “feeling peachy”. But the night got us one more surprise in form of Jason Todd-Wayne, Bruce’s adopted son, stepping out of the Manor to have a chat with us._

_“It’s gross,” he told us. “I got my own apartment after they moved in together. It has been going on for months now, but I think they used to f**k at his place for years. Did I mention they live together? You cannot even walk around their wing at Wayne Manor. They’re so loud and kinky. It’s really gross. Ever since the wedding it even got worse. Ask Dami. I can just hope there won’t be any fanfiction around any time soon.”_

_Congratulations on your wedding, Bruce! When do we get to see the wedding pictures?_

 

* * *

 

It was a quiet morning when Bruce came down the stairs at Wayne Manor, muscles still tense from last night’s events. It should have been a peaceful gala about charity, showing that he was still celebrating life and didn’t have time to jump over Gotham’s rooftops dressed as a giant bat.

In the end, instead of a night as Bruce Wayne he got a night full of Joker’s terror. Dick had put on the cowl before Bruce could have even considered a plan and seconds later he was dragged from his feet and carried out of the room. His best suit had been covered in wrinkles, but Alfred had still been amused. Over coms Tim and Damian had announced their arrival to evacuate the guests that hadn’t been properly welcomed by then, before Jason was sent out to look out for potential threats among them.

Taking the cowl back, Bruce had joined Dick, who had changed into his Nightwing suit and searched for anything potentially harmful. But they found nothing. It had only been a bluff. Still, the atmosphere had been ruined and most of their guests were already gone by now. Jason and Alfred had put the remaining people in cars and sent them off, sharing snacks from the untouched buffet with the rest of the kids sitting in the Batcave afterwards.

Dick had accompanied Bruce for a short patrol, but the city remained quiet that night, and for once Bruce hadn’t bothered with mission reports, leaving the cave behind and falling straight into bed. Trying to not think about the busted charity event, he had closed his eyes and concentrated on sleeping.

Now that he was awake again, Wayne Manor seemed oddly quiet. Not peaceful, not relaxed. He couldn’t make out Damian’s loud complaining nor the usual bickering that filled the dining room whenever more than one kid was having breakfast at the same time.

Alfred crossed his way, opening the door for Bruce before he left for the kitchen, lips curled up in a tiny smirk. For a long second, Bruce paused, looking at the empty spot where Alfred had been standing, before he shook his head and sat down.

As expected, Damian was indeed absent from the table, but that didn’t seem to bother Dick and Tim, who were snickering over another newspaper article, but went silent as soon as they spotted him. Dick’s gaze hovered heavily over Bruce’s stature, while Tim discreetly disappeared behind the newspaper.

Jason was also missing from the table. He had been brooding since the second Dick had told him that Red Hood shouldn’t be seen around the manor and had left early that night. Their relationship had clearly improved and Jason was always welcome to stay the night in his room or join in for a movie night, but that didn’t mean Red Hood should be associated with the annual Wayne Gala and Bruce Wayne himself. It had been difficult enough to resurrect the formerly dead son, they didn’t need another scandal.

Raising his eyebrows in silent question, Bruce took a sip of the coffee Alfred had generously left at his place, trying to understand what was going on right under his nose.

“Bruce,” Tim began while Dick had a rough time holding back his smirk. He spoke slowly, his head still hidden behind the Gotham Gazette. “Did you want to tell us anything?”

In retrospective, Bruce decided, it had been too quiet.

“Yeah, Bruce. When were you going to tell us?” Dick added smugly and took a sip of his tea, which was even more odd. He clearly preferred coffee in the morning.

“Tell you what,” Bruce asked flatly, almost afraid to ask further. Tim had never been that awake at 7 AM in the morning, not to mention  the wide smile that spread over his face. His cheeks must hurt by now.

Taking the newspaper from Tim, Dick turned it around to show Bruce the title page that Tim had been looking at the whole time, while his eyes sparkled with joy. “So, when exactly were you going to tell us about your passionate love affair with the Batman, B?”

Bruce froze, staring at the front page. Bold letters were proclaiming the latest headlines: _NOT SO SECRET LOVERS? –_ _THE BAT AND THE PRINCE OF GOTHAM_ and Bruce felt his stomach dropping. Right below the prominent headline was a picture printed, showing himself in Batman’s tight grip, his hands desperately seeking for support on Dick’s wide shoulders. And on the ring finger of his right hand sat a wedding band. Simple, without diamonds or engraving, just like he had preferred it.

They knew he was married. They knew he was off the market. And their first instinct told him, he was married to the infamous Batman, who had started the vigilantism in Gotham. They assumed he was dating … himself.

“… no.”

“Yes.”

“No. No, no, no.”

“Yes. Yes, yes, yes. And you did tell Jay, but not us? I’m offended, B. I thought you liked me more than that.”

“What has Jason to do with all that?” Bruce asked warily and his gaze darkened. Putting all the authority he had in front of his children left into his voice, he sternly held out his hand. “Dick, the paper.”

“What do we say, B?” Dick was enjoying himself.

“Now.”

“But that’s not the magic word.”

“Alfred, no more pancakes for the kids.”

“Aw, no. That’s not fair.”

“The newspaper, Dick.”

At the end, Tim was the one passing the newspaper to Bruce while trying to protect the pancakes that still lay on his plate. “I don’t think it’s too bad, Bruce. They could’ve made other assumptions and compared Batman’s flirting to Nightwing. I still don’t get how they don’t notice changes in Batman’s behavior whenever he needs to save your sorry ass.”

“Because it’s Jay, most of the time at least. Blüdhaven needs Nightwing. As often as B gets kidnapped or publicly threatened, they would notice Nightwing is missing whenever Bruce Wayne needs Batman’s help. Plus, some of us do have an actual boss and don’t work for the family.”

“I work for Bruce! Can you imagine how many PR scandals I have to sort out on a daily basis?”

“Not as many as you used to since he’s got married to –“

Focusing on the newspaper, Bruce ignored their bickering and skimmed the article, trying to process which kind of fantasy  Gotham was about to believe today. His heart stopped for a short moment, before it started beating again, vehemently ignoring the years of meditation to control his pulse. It was even worse than he had imagined. How could it be worse than any thought escaping his dark and brooding mind?

Thoughts were spinning uncontrollably through his head,resisting his attempts to get them back in line. How could they come up with such a ridiculous idea? Why would Jason not deny but confirm their fantasy? What could he even do to convince them he wasn’t married to Batman – to himfuckingself for Christ’s sake? Not to mention he wasn’t just married to Batman. The vigilante was therefore married to another man. And – the most frightening thought that always arise to the surface of his mind-pond – how would his actual husband feel about the news?

Bruce closed his eyes and took a deep breath, holding it, slowly counting down. Ten. Nine. Eight. Seven. Six. Five. Four. Three. Two. One. He breathed out. Keeping a clear mind was necessary now.

Most importantly, he couldn’t let one stupid newspaper article affect his work. Now, Bruce Wayne and Batman would be the preferred targets of any reporter and paparazzi outside. He would need to lay low for a while and let the kids take over his patrols. Maybe Jonathan and Conner could help them, or even Clark. The Gothamites were already familiar with Superman helping Batman in times of need. Perhaps Dick would even lend him one of his suits and let him fly out Nightwing for a few nights. He had so many different kinds of them and was heading back to Blüdhaven later in the afternoon. Officer Grayson was urgently needed.

He opened his eyes again and folded the newspaper, handing it over to Alfred, who had brought another plate of fresh pancakes. Stabbing the baked dough, he made a mental note to himself. Jason would very soon be very dead.

Tim and Dick were still chatting about the article, but Bruce didn’t bother listening to their argument. He focused on enjoying the delicious pancakes, drowned in maple syrup and decorated with small fruits. His anger wouldn’t fade anytime soon, but he could put it aside and concentrate on his life as Bruce Wayne for a while. A statement needed to be made and security at Wayne Enterprises should be increased for the public image. Pitching the idea to Tim, the boy nodded thoughtfully and pulled out his phone to make a note.

With a sigh, Dick got up and caringly ruffled his brother’s hair, before flashing a smile towards Bruce. He took the leather jacket that had hung on his chair, which definitely belonged to Jason, before putting it on. “Keep your head up over this mess, B. I’m sure Timmy will sort this out.”

“At least, they don’t suspect you being Batman anymore,” Tim offered. “I mean, it’s kind of convenient to assume he’s dating you. He certainly doesn’t have a bank account or a gofundme. Instead he gets his gadgets sponsored by his husband, who just happens to run a successful company in possession of many technological patents, too.”

“I would prefer them believing I was Batman.”

A snort by the younger man followed. “Not me to blame. I didn’t forgot to take my wedding band off. It was you. As far as I’m concerned, this disaster is on you, even if I have to deal with it as soon as I get to Wayne Enterprises today.”

“I gotta go, guys,” Dick laughed and approached the door that lead to the hallway. “It was great staying the night and seeing you outside of the cave, but Blüdhaven is missing his hero and I have a feeling I won’t leave anytime soon if this starts again.”

He was almost gone when Bruce pushed himself out of the chair and followed him, taking his cup of coffee with him to sip on the stimulating brew. Staying behind, Tim yawned, rubbed his tired eyes, before asking Alfred for more coffee. He was getting sleepier again, now that the excitement had left him.

“Dick?” Touching his elbow, Bruce held him back once he caught up with him down the hallway, watching his eldest son turn to face him while his eyebrow rose in confusion. Through the windows, Bruce could already see his parked car outside of the manor.

“What is it, B?”

“Where is Damian?”

“Oh, he’s hunting down Jason. Apparently, he wants to kill him for real this time. The Robin suit and his sword are missing from the cave, though,” Dick replied keeping a straight face and shrugged.

“Do I want to know the reason?”

“His phone won’t stop ringing, because Jason mentioned him to Vicki yesterday. Every reporter out there wants to be the first to get a statement from Damian Wayne, who once was important enough to get mentioned by Jason Todd”, Dick paused for a moment and flashed his teeth in a wide grin, wiggling his eyebrows. “They obviously believe he knows about all the thirst going on between you and … the other you, as he is the only one not old enough to live on his own.”

“Doesn’t he need to be at school by now?”

Dick shook his head in disappointment, the corners of his lips twitching unsatisfied. “Vacations, B.”

“Right,” he nodded, recalling the vacation schedule while gripping the cup tighter. “And you’re not worried for Jason’s wellbeing?”

Dick only shrugged and turned to the front doors, pushing them open energetically. “He certainly knows how to protect himself.” He shortly waved and disappeared.

Bruce meant to reply, but Dick had a point. Jason would be fine and as soon as his significant other would read the so-called news, Damian’s best friend would be on his way to distract him. Or he would let himself get involved in Damian’s revenge. He was never good at standing his ground in front of Damian.

A soft chirping sound was coming out of his suit trousers and he pulled out his smartphone. Unlocking the screen with a short tap on the fingerprint sensor, his lips curled into a tiny smile while his eyes scanned the displayed text message, that concealed the wedding picture he used as a wallpaper.

Without thinking he typed out his reply, hitting _send_ in an instant. Being with Clark was so easy, his body and mind working on instinct.

Leaving Tim practically inhaling another cup of coffee in the dining room, Bruce turned to the stairs in the hallway and sent another message.

 

* * *

 

Jason was sitting on his bed at a lovely apartment he had found a few weeks ago and spontaneously seized, together with none other than Roy Harper. Said friend was still asleep in his own room, but Jason was already wide awake. He hadn’t even cared to dress in proper clothing. Tight, black shorts and a red sweat jacket were his clothes of choice this morning, his head hidden under the hood. The bed sheets were loosely wrapped around his broad shoulders like a cape, while he was furiously typing his way through Twitter.

The day had started much better than he had imagined. After being woken up cruelly early in the morning by the phone calls Dick had been pestering him with, he had been quoted by a newspaper article that made his wildest dreams become true. Bruce and Batman were _finally_ a thing, after years of hoping the Gothamites would eventually see the ungodly amount of gossip potential. He couldn’t believe it was happening now, after Dick had taken the cowl just one time. It should have been him.

Nevertheless, he was in high spirits. A text from Dick had just told him, that his boyfriend was driving back to Blüdhaven and had another hour he could spent talking to Jason. As much as he loved Officer Grayson, Jason sometimes wished he had stayed in Gotham, joined the GCPD and moved in with him and Roy. Not that he could have convinced Dick to come back to him; Blüdhaven needed Nightwing, and he understood that. Red Hood wouldn’t leaving Gotham either. It only limited their time together.

Pulling up Skype on his laptop, that he had placed on his lap – what a coincidence –, he opened Dick’s profile and rang him up. Hastily, he put his headphones on, not wanting to wake up Roy on his day off from crime fighting, before he clicked back on Twitter and scrolled through the latest tweets in Gotham. As soon as he heard the familiar engine of Dick’s car in his ears, he took advantage and interrupted the soft greeting.

“Babe, I know you want me to leave Bruce alone, but I can’t let him live that down. Hear me out, please. I promise, it’s genius and you will love it.”

It was silent for a moment and Jason held his breath, not certain about the greatness of his idea anymore, but then a warm laugher came as a reply and he grinned in satisfaction. “You sound very excited. Tell me more about it, little wing.”

Wishing he could simply show Dick the twitter posts he had discovered, Jason had to summarize their content for his boyfriend. He could send them and hope that Dick would still concentrate on the street while reading them, but he was not willing to hope for the best.

“Gotham is going crazy over their relationship. The hashtag _onlyingotham_ is floating over with posts about them, and it’ll be nationally trending in a few hours, that I can guarantee you. There even are a few attempts at writing the first fanfictions and sketchy fanarts, and the story has been up for how long? Barely three hours? I think it’s going to be so good, Dickiebird. I can feel it.”

“And what’s your idea exactly?” Dick dug deeper, even though Jason could hear a smile in his voice. “That all sounds very adorable and I can assure you that Bruce will hate is as soon as he’s going to find out, which won’t take long considering Tim has to deal with your drama. But I know you’re planning something.”

“That’s what I’m coming to right now,” he replied and opened another tab on twitter, pressing the _signup_ button. “I’m about to create a fan account for them and I need a suitable username. And a couple name, y’know. One of those cheesy mash ups of their names put together in a nice way. I can’t let the current tags grow bigger. Gothamites have _no_ style at all.”

He needed to act quickly or else he could never get rid off the ridiculous names that some early birds with zero common sense came up with. Bruman. Bayne. BatWayne. What kind of couple names where those? They sounded like villains with no taste. One of them almost was a villain they often had faced in the past, considering the _Y_ in _Bayne_ was silent!

Dick snorted, before his laughter followed through the line. For a few moments, he said nothing and Jason stared at the bright display of his laptop, wishing the empty field would fill itself with a catchy username. He wouldn’t give others the chance to outrun him, not this time. It was his victory and therefore his to celebrate. And maybe Dick’s. That was why he was calling him at the moment.

“I adore your mind, Jaybird. I should’ve stayed a little while longer. Driving back to Blüd always sucks, it really does”, Dick softly spoke and the sound of the engine increased while he probably overtook another driver on the highway. “Let’s start with a username first, shall we?”

“Gladly, baby,” Jason smiled and squinted at the bright website. “I want something catching. People should read it and decide to follow me, because I am the number one fan page out there. No one delivers the thirst like I do.” He mumbled the last few words, but Dick caught them anyways.

“You’re adorable when you’re determined and jealous people could steal your fame away”, Dick told him and made a thoughtful sound. “What about … _redhooduncovers_?”

“Sounds more like a fucking conspiracy theories blog, don’t ya think?”

“Hm, you’re right. And I take it _brucewaynefan_ also is not to your liking.”

“You know me so well.”

“ _waynewatch_?”

“Nope.”

“ _eyesofbatman_?”

“What kind of a dumb username is that.”

“ _damnedprince_.”

Jason deadpanned. “That was my username, Dick. The one ... I used on my verified Jason Todd account for too long.”

“I was just kidding, but what about, and I know it sounds crazy, but what about _jasonshipsittoo_. Everybody in Gotham knows your name after today and you were the only one to confirm the relationship yet. They trust you.”

Tilting his head, Jason went quiet, considering the suggestion. Without a question, Dick made a point. It was a catchy name, it was referring to the person confirming the assumption first, and – he quickly checked and yelled triumphantly – it wasn’t taken yet.

“Shit, you’re a fucking genius, babe,” he told Dick and filled the signup form to set up the account.

Dick only chuckled and stayed silent, letting him work on the first appearance. It only took a few minutes to put a small text into the biography. He worked efficiently, confirming his e-mail address and simultaneously sending Dick the password. There was no way he was going to manage a fan page without Dick Grayson.

He stopped, when he was asked to fill in his name. Obviously, using his own name was off the table, and he wouldn’t become another Bruce Wayne or Batman fan page. He needed a name, a really good one. At best including the couple name that he still hadn’t come up with.

Luckily, he got Dick on his side.

“Hey, Jaybird?” Dick interrupted the silence. “What do you think of BatPrince? I mean, it kinda sounds like Diana, but only we know her real name. And I think it would really catch people’s attention since Vicki even called Bruce the _Prince of Gotham_. You could play with that and make it memorable.”

“Richard Grayson, I love you.”

“Aw,” Dick chuckled. “I love you, too.”

Without hesitating, Jason opened a new post and pasted the article’s link, before typing out a small message. He made sure to address his own account, giving himself an excuse to repost the tweet later. Jason Todd could turn every tweet into pure gold.

“Gonna get ready for a twitter war now, Dickiebird,” Jason informed him and allowed the tweet to set for a moment and avoid suspicions, instead reading some angry posts of Robin, wo cursed Red Hood in his tweets. Lovely demon brat. Fortunately, Damian didn’t know about his new living location yet or else the morning would have been less peacefully.

“Are you trying to start one? Let me know if you do, cause I need to make sure I’m on your side!” Dick laughed.

His fingers twitched full of beans. How long until he could retweet without raising suspicions that he himself had set up the new fan page? A few more minutes maybe, he did not want to wait for another hour. What was he supposed to be doing until then? He sighed deeply and clicked through the trending tags, ending up in the #onlyingotham thread again. His eyes flew over the small tweets, while he tried to absorb their words. A thought was forming in the back of his mind, slowly coming to life.

“Hey, Dick … I think I need to go now. Talk to you later,” he told his boyfriend absently, the cursor already hovering over the red button, before he blinked. “Be safe, babe.”

Not waiting for a response, he ended the call and closed Skype, before focusing on Twitter again. Some of their ideas, which continued under the original tweet in comments, could almost be read as very short works of fanfiction. And he remembered telling Vale that he was expecting some, even though he had not found anything yet.

But maybe the real writers were a bit shy and intimidated by the Bat. Someone should give them the courage to share their work. Someone who was not afraid of the Caped Crusader and could defend himself, even beat him up occasionally.

Someone like Jason Todd.

This was going to be a great day.

 

* * *

 

 

 

* * *

 

Less than thirty-six hours later, Clark Kent was sitting on the passenger seat of his husband’s latest Mercedes, desperately trying to not think about the following hours he would spend at a gala event. It was about books as Bruce had told him, and he found some comfort knowing they would at least donate for the written word. But being exposed to the reporters and paparazzi, whom he was part of on good nights, and introduced as Bruce Wayne’s spouse was making him squirm on his seat.

They had talked about the incident and the article and spent hours thinking about all the ways it could go wrong. And Bruce hadn’t missed a single oncoming apocalypse, no matter how unlikely it was to happen. Jason had been absent for the last two days and Dick excused himself with business in Blüdhaven, while Damian was declared to be too young for any of his father’s scandals. That had only left Tim with them, who had been loudly complaining about the additional responsibilities.

In the end, he had helped to release a statement, that Bruce wasn’t dating nor married to the Batman, but Gotham had just shrugged it off and continued to celebrate the new found couple. Therefore, it was on Clark to save the day and prove them wrong. To be honest, he would have preferred any kryptonite in Bruce’s possession over tonight’s outing.

“Tell me this is going smooth and peachy,” he murmured and slid his hand over Bruce’s, which was currently resting on the gear lever; softly pressing his fingers for comfort. Their matching silver wedding band were softly shimmering in the reflected streetlights. There had been more hopeless mission for the Justice League than tonight’s ridiculous party. Surely, Bruce would agree.

“We walk over the red carpet, ignore the reporters and paparazzi and only talk to the celebrities inside. Somewhere inside should be Vicki running around looking for her next story, and we are going to be that,” Bruce explained their plan again and looked over to Clark, driving slower now that they were approaching the red carpet, neatly lined in with other guests. “No word about Batman. You’re a reporter from Metropolis, we had our first date after the interview you did with me, and we didn’t want to make it public, because it also would affect your life and turn it upside down with paparazzi following you around, when discretion is very important for your work, Mr. I-Am-An-Investigative-Journalist.”

“You forgot that Lois would have killed us both if he had told anyone but her first.”

“Don’t mention your best friend, love. She always ruins the atmosphere.”

“Scared, babe?”

“Not with you by my side.”

The smile on his husband’s lips disappeared as soon as they stopped next to the red carpet. He pulled his hand back after reassuringly pressing Clark’s fingers for a moment, before he opened the driver’s door and climbed out of the lowrider. He handed the keys over to the parking service and walked around the car to open the passenger door, offering Clark a helping hand.

“May I?”

Clark could see the smile that tucked on Bruce’s lips and reached his eyes, even though the tall man fought against it as he tried to stay in character. He took the offered hand and let Bruce pull him out of the car, intertwining their fingers with a soft chuckle, before he took a step to the side and watched the door close at Bruce’s intervention. Flashing lights were exploding around them and dazzled him, made him hesitate for a split second, before Bruce pressed his hand in assistance and moved forward to face the curious crowd.

Walking down the red carped went surprisingly well. Clark was nervous – nobody could blame him for that – but he trusted Bruce and followed by his side, trying his best to ignore the big lenses and flash of lights directed at their presence. At peace with the role he played, Bruce took his time to stop a few times on the short way, greeting familiar faces and waving off reporters. Clark was only smiling reserved and occasionally shook a few hands.

For Clark’s liking, it certainly took them too long to cross the threshold and leave the staring crowd outside. The National Library of Metropolis swallowed their shouted questions and welcomed them into a wide room, with a ceiling way too tall above their heads. High tables filled the hall and hosted small groups spread around them. A few gazes came their way, some lingered on Clark and took in his physique, before they returned to their previous occupation.

Again, Bruce pulled him forward and led him through the guests and Clark was tempted to ask for a destination when a glass of Champagne appeared before his eyes and his husband’s sparkling eyes peeked over the bezel.

“You’re tensed, sweetheart. I need you to relax and enjoy the night, even though I can imagine better ways to spend time with you.”

Biting his lower lip, Clark accepted the glass and waited for Bruce to steal another one from the waiter, letting his gaze wander over the guests. He could see Lois taking notes in the small book she always carried with her. She lifted her eyes and met his gaze, showing him a smile. Bruce had asked her to write an article about their marriage, hoping for the neutral opinion and commonsense of Metropolis and Lois’ well-known serious journalism. The interview was set for later, after their inevitable encounter with Vicki Vale, to provide an exit in case the conversation was not following their expectations.

“To love,” Bruce said as he lifted his glass for a toast. “And to finding it with you when I needed it the most.”

Still holding hands, Clark mirrored his movement and took a nip of the sparkling liquid. The alcohol wouldn’t affect him in any way, metabolism simply too fast, but it still soothed him. Bruce left his Champagne untouched. In retrospect, Clark couldn’t tell that he had ever seen him touching a drink, the fear of losing control always of his mind.

“Vicki is already watching us. She’ll be at us in less than five minutes,” his spouse went back to analyzing the events. “I can see Lois standing in position. You remember the sign we made up?”

“Bruce.” Clark sighed and lowered his glass, raising his eyebrows instead, while Bruce blinked in confusion.

“Hm?”

“Can we at least try to enjoy tonight and not make it into our latest case?” he asked whisperingly and leaned his forehead against Bruce’s, tenderly touching his cheeks. “Didn’t you just tell me to relax and enjoy? This is not an undercover mission.” He could feel Bruce frown.

“It is in a way,” the other disagreed as expected and wrapped his hands around Clark’s waist, pulling him closer to his chest. Clark could feel the glass poking against his lower back. “We need to make sure they stop accusing me of being married to the Ba–“

An angry growl escaped Clark’s throat, as he suddenly pulled back and removed his hand from Bruce’s cheeks, instead stabbing his finger against the muscular chest. “No, it’s not,” he told him and narrowed his eyes without turning his gaze away. Opening his mouth again, Bruce tried to disagree for a second time, but Clark simply shushed him silent.

“It’s about me being married to you, Bruce. It’s about you showing that you love me, and that you want to make sure everyone knows who your real husband is. It’s about us telling the world that you’re mine and only mine.”

He touched Bruce’s cheeks again and could feel the shy pressure on his fingers as Bruce closed his eyes and relaxed against his hand. A delicate smile decorated his lips.

“No Batman today,” Clark continued softly. “Don’t turn this into work. I’m nervous and afraid and my face will be on every newspaper in the morning, but I’m not here because some vigilante asked me to. I’m here because my husband needed my help and I said yes. Can you be Bruce Wayne, just for tonight?”

Snapping his eyes open, Bruce stared at him for a moment and tilted his head, hardly trying to suppress the smirk that was now forming. Clark raised an eyebrow, silently questioning what was going on, but Bruce simply leaned forward and stole a tender kiss from his lips.

“You said yes.”

“Not for the first time,” Clark snorted and rolled his eyes, nevertheless enjoying their public display of affection and leaning into the warm hug, Bruce’s arms still wrapped around him. Focusing on the familiar, strong heartbeat, he remained in the embrace and couldn’t help but smile about their argument. As fast as they started, they always stopped after a few minutes. Considering they had to trust each other and couldn’t let their offended feelings affect their work for the fate of the world, it wasn’t that bad.

Bruce shifted slightly, lifting a hand to reach Clark’s, leading it away from his cheek and to his lips. A soft kiss was pressed onto the wedding band while his eyes caught the blue ones looking back at him. Under other circumstances, it would have been a perfect night.

They had to part, when Bruce nudged his nose against his cheek and let his eyes flicker on someone behind Clark, quietly groaning in annoyance.

“She’s coming our way,” he whispered and Clark suppressed a sigh, stepping back from Bruce. Their fingers locked again, and this time as he straightened his back, for once enjoying the fitting suit Bruce had forced him to wear.

Vicki Vale was approaching them, a wide smile on her face, while her eyes were glued on their intertwined hands, already absorbing every information their bodies would tell her. In a sudden rush of fear, Clark emptied his glass in one gulp and switched glasses with Bruce, blinking innocently at the question appearing on Bruce’s face.

“You won’t drink it, let’s not waste it then.”

The silent laugh was ringing in his ears, but Clark ignored it and turned to face the eager reporter, who finally made it to them, smiling tightly.

“Mr. Wayne! One word, please.”

What could possibly go wrong? Well, funny you should ask.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so, so much for all the kudos and the lovely comments that helped me finish this story! I love each and everyone of you! 
> 
> Beta-read by the wonderful GavotteAndGigue and written with help from GraySonOfGotham!

“Don’t get your pretzel in a twist, little wing.”

“Are you fucking kidding me? This is fucking serious, Dick!”

“You should take a deep breath and think positively about it. They–“

“I ain’t staying calm when there’s some dipshit running around telling bullshit about Batman!”

“Since when do you care for Batman and his image?”

“It’s not about caring for Batman! It’s about not believing that anyone would be stupid enough to assume Batman could be Mr. Nice-And-Just from Metropolis!”

Jason was fuming. 

Pacing around in Dick’s apartment in Blüdhaven, almost like a trapped tiger, ready to strike at the first person daring to open his cage, he spat anger and wrath. It had been perfect, his fan page clearly trending on Twitter, fanfictions about Bruce and Batman simultaneously flooding the internet. He couldn’t mention them fast enough to catch them all. 

But as soon as he leaned back and enjoyed the chaos he had created, Bruce and Clark had to show up together and be stupidly in love. And of course, Vicki had jumped onto the ship and sailed away. 

At first, he had been relieved to see the Twitter community still undecided, trying to understand what was going on. Not ready to say goodbye to BatPrince yet, Jason had once more used his popularity and made a new post, pushing his fans in the right direction. 

For twenty hours, the world had been at peace again. Jason had ignored the calls from Bruce and Tim, who had already figured out he was the one managing the fan page; instead, he had caught up on the latest fanworks and commented on a few pieces, he had called Dick to tell him he was coming to Blüd for a date night, and he had even ditched the Red Hood to avoid the other bats, again. 

The flower shop near Dick’s apartment had been opened when he had arrived and tempted him into buying a rose for his boyfriend; for once showing his romantic side. His body had been buzzing with joy and he had swung through the window and landed in front of Dick. 

But the smile had vanished from his face as soon as Dick had looked up from his phone and bit his lower lip, indicating that something was not going according to the plans. 

Apparently, and Jason didn’t even want to think about the why, someone had created a fan account dedicated to Clark Kent, proudly announcing that the Metropolitan reporter had to be Batman. 

Clark Kent, Batman. 

The more Jason repeated it in his head, the more ridiculous it sounded. Why did that happen when he was about to enjoy date night with his fricking boyfriend? It wasn’t like they had every day to themselves. Not even every night. Different cities, vigilantes, fucked up lives. He was certain normal people wouldn’t even manage to date with only one of those problems to worry about.

At least his fans and followers had been loyal. Jason wouldn’t say he was proud to be the cause of a fandom war, but in a way he _was_ proud. The fandom was growing fast and steadily, even after Bruce and Clark had been flaunting the red carpet. Reporters and paparazzi may have lost their interest in the dubious rumor, but the public attention was growing. 

“We need to react, Dickie. We can’t let them spread lies and think they can get away with it,” he finally managed to say and stopped walking, his gaze lingering on his boyfriend, who was comfortably laying on the couch. 

Dick only smirked. “Isn’t that exactly what you were doing the last few days? Spreading rumors and lies, avoiding the whole family and ignoring their calls, hoping that they would forget it after a while and move on?”

“Irrelevant, Dickie. And not true, thank you very much,” he protested and blinked innocently. “I never said _Batman_ would be hanging around the Manor. I said _they_ were fucking. Couldn’t know that Vicki would connect it to Bats.”

“Canny, babe. Now would you come back to me? I thought we could at least cuddle tonight.”

Dick was pouting now, watching Jason with big, round doe eyes, a hand stretched out to catch him. With a quiet sigh, he fondly took Dick’s hand in his, sinking down on the sofa next to him. The old leather pressed against his back when he felt the weight of a body colliding with his chest, arms and legs wrapping around his body. 

Jason laughed softly and buried his face in the crook of Dick’s neck and inhaled the musky scent of the familiar aftershave. 

“How come you’re topping me in bed, but cuddle like a fluffy kitten?” he asked against the warm skin and held the older man tighter. “But we should still talk about those guys. Gotta find out their names. Intimidate them a bit.”

“Babs is already on it. But we won’t intimidate civilians. Bruce would kill us both if Nightwing and Red Hood were seen out scaring some kids. Tim’s most likely working on a plan. Pay them to quit the show.”

“Still don’t like it.”

“I don’t care, little wing. Wanna watch a movie?”

“Hulu and fuck?”

 

* * *

 

One city further, Conner Kent was having a fantastic night. He was lying in bed on his stomach, scrolling through Twitter using his phone. Tim had confiscated his laptop and used the device to type furiously on the poor keyboard, sitting next to Conner. Technically, Conner knew he should feel guilty for all the stress he put Tim through, but his day had simply been too good to let it all down now. 

It had all started with the newspaper article about Bruce, who was sort of his stepdad, considering this whole married-to-Clark-who-is-technically-some-kind-of-dad-thing. If clones even had a father other than their creator or the test tube they grew up inside. It absolutely wasn’t his fault that someone had started to jump onto the ship and sail it all the way to Twitter and Tumblr and all the other fandom-kingdoms out there. 

He also wanted to point out that he had not been the one telling Bruce and Clark to reveal their marriage on a charity event, allowing even more room for speculations, fantasies and excited fans who could now ship them in every way possible. It had just happened. And yes, he had enjoyed it quite well. 

At least until a special someone had announced Bruce was cheating on Batman with Clark Kent, the purest human on earth, who would prefer to die than be accused of adultery. Seeing Bruce Wayne getting roasted on social media was one thing. But insulting Clark Kent and defiling his reputation was a completely different matter that Conner couldn’t tolerate. 

So he had done what every good child would have to save his father’s life. He had created his own Twitter page. And maybe, just maybe, he had posted that Clark Kent must be Batman, Bruce Wayne’s husband. 

It turned out he wasn’t the only one playing with the idea and within a few hours, he had his own fan base supporting him against a very angry _jasonshipsittoo_ and their squad. Someone even had drawn Clark in Batman’s cowl for him and he considered using it as his new profile picture. He just had to ask for permission. 

But then, of course, his hard-working boyfriend had found out about it and came back to their place to give him a shovel talk. He had screamed, too. About his brother. And Conner had found out, that Jason was hosting the other account. He still couldn’t decide whether he should be afraid of Tim’s rage or in awe that he had managed to attack Jason’s secret hobby. 

“Tiiiiim,” he purred softly when he put his phone down, taking a break from the fantastic fanworks people were sending him to look at the other boy, softly smiling. 

Tim didn’t even look up when he rolled his eyes and sped up his typing. “What?”

“Are you still mad at me?”

“Of course I am!” Tim huffed and narrowed his eyes, eyeing him for a second. “I tried so hard to put the rumors down and you have nothing better to do than work against me!?”

“But Jason posts his shipping stuff, too,” Conner tried to defend himself, stopping after another glare of his boyfriend. 

“Jason lost quite a few followers after Vicki’s new article. And it’s important what people on the street think about the issue, not some fans on Twitter. If Gotham thinks Bruce Wayne is married to Batman, he is. If Gotham thinks Clark Kent is Batman, then he is!”

Tim was fuming now and in any other situation Conner would have backed away or tried to comfort his bird or promise him to punch the idiot, but he didn’t want to punch himself for an act he didn’t even regret. 

“He was saying that Bruce uses Clark to cheat on his husband!” Conner tried to explain without raising his voice. “How could I have not done anything? Neither Clark nor Bruce are able to cheat. They simply love each other too much.”

Tim sighed heavily. “I didn’t like it either, but at least he wasn’t saying that Superman is actually Batman. What happens when they follow Clark around and see him flying away? Or changing into his Superman suit?”

Yeah, good point. 

“Shit. I wasn’t thinking that far.”

He sounded defeated and stared back at his phone while the thoughts were speeding through his mind. That was a real threat, right? Someone could film Clark ripping off his ridiculous, boring suit and shirt and leave the back alley through the top exit with a sonic boom. 

And everyone would facepalm because they were even joking about Clark’s resemblance with Superman but neither of them thought that Superman would actually work and not silently brood in his Fortress of Solitude. He would actually enjoy that part of the story. 

“I thought so,” Tim replied and shut the laptop before pushing the device from his lap and laying down on his back next to Conner. “That’s why I’ve been working on a statement and proof that Clark is not Batman since the second I’ve found your post. And guess what, Vicki will publish it tomorrow and save your sorry ass, _Superboy_.” 

With a surprised noise, Conner raised his head again and looked at the small boy beside him, smiling when the younger gave him a short nod. Conner grinned for a second, rolling on his back, fingers already intertwining with Tim’s. 

Tim turned his head to look him in the eyes, squinting at him, while his lips stayed in a serious line. His hand twitched softly though.

“I’m still mad at you, don’t get me wrong. It was not okay to post that and encourage Jason,” he told Conner and waited for a tiny nod before continuing. “But it’s nice to see Jason finally losing a war he started.”

“My pleasure,” Conner laughed and stared into the blue eyes for a moment. Their noses touched and Tim’s face lit up in a smile before he leaned forward and placed a chaste kiss onto Conner’s cheek. 

“I love you. But don’t do that again.”

“I won’t, promise. I love you, too.”

He closed his eyes and heard a soft sigh from Tim that made him chuckle. He could feel the tension in the vigilante’s body grow and moved closer, pulling him onto his chest before he wrapped his arms around Tim. 

“Skip patrol tonight and stay with me?” he asked softly and could hear the happy flutter in Tim’s heartbeat and the smile in his voice when he answered. 

“But you call in sick for me at the Batcave.”

“Deal.”

 

* * *

 

Hours later, after an exhaustingly long night on patrol without Tim but with an angry Damian, who still hadn’t gotten a hold of Jason, Bruce felt like crying when he finally managed to escape the cave for an early-morning-snack and a comfortable bed. He was only wearing a pair of tight black shorts and a fluffy Superman dressing gown that Clark had gifted him a few years back. 

Said man was waiting for him in the master bedroom as Bruce stepped through the door and gave the famous hero a once-over, taking in the features of his dark blue suit and the shimmering reflection the material allowed even in an almost dark room. 

“You just arrived?” 

He wouldn’t tell Clark to be careful with his shiny suit around Gotham and especially around the manor. He had probably scanned the area with his super-senses before floating down to the bedroom balcony they always left unlocked. 

“A fire in India, I couldn’t make it earlier,” Clark said and stepped forward to greet him with a warm embrace, pressing Bruce to his chest. 

Bruce felt him burying his nose in the cowl-ruffled hair and let it happen, leaning into the hug with an arm wrapped around Clark’s body. He was only a few inches taller than his husband, but on days like these when he was tired and only wanted to sleep, he felt small. 

“We should get rid of your suit and rest. Kryptonians need sleep, too,” Bruce mumbled against Clark’s shoulder and got a soft laugh in reply, before the arms around him disappeared and he had to stand by himself again. 

Clark went blurry before his eyes and a second later, he was only wearing his Batman shorts and a pair of socks. Bruce raised his brows at Clark’s feet and was regarded by a sheepish smile before Clark also removed the socks. 

It only took them another second to fall on the bed, arms and legs entangled while Bruce stole a kiss from Clark’s lips, trying to stop his husband from the talk he knew was coming, but it didn’t work. As soon as the Kryptonian could breathe, he stared at Bruce with a soft look in his eyes. 

“I’ve heard about the new rumors on Twitter. Tim texted me.”  

Yeah, no. Bruce sighed and let his head fall into the pillow, covering his eyes with an arm. He had tried to forget about that. 

“Conner is my responsibility and I should have seen it coming.”

“But how?” Bruce disagreed with the guilt in Clark’s voice and raised his arm just a bit to look at Clark with his left eye, snorting. “He was defending you. He reacted because Jason couldn’t let the rumor die.”

“But–”

“It was not his fault, nor was it yours.”

Clark was silent for a moment before a soft chuckle could be heard and his arms were back around Bruce. Bruce snuggled closer, laying his head on Clark’s broad shoulder and closing his eyes. 

“I love you,” his husband whispered barely loud enough for him to understand and he smiled absently against the naked skin. 

He was tired since the second Tim had told him about Jason’s latest post, obviously trying to carry on with his shenanigans a little while longer. It had been amusing at first, in some way, and he and Clark had laughed about the ideas he came up with for quite some time. 

It hadn't even bothered him that Jason was still speculating about the nature of their relationship after a surprisingly supportive interview with Vicki, who had been apologizing for her first article over and over again. She had been carried away and Bruce had told her he would understand and not hold any grudge against her. And it had been a very kind article about their love, how they had met through Clark’s job at the Daily Planet and started dating shortly after. 

But Jason’s shenanigans had started to become a serious issue again when Gothamites had suddenly stopped trusting their common sense for a second time and blindly thrown themselves into the fantasies. He didn’t mind a bit of fooling around, as long as a whole city didn’t try to uncover Batman’s secret identity to find out whether Clark Kent was running around in a bat costume or not. 

 A lot of meetings with Tim were waiting for him after a short nap with Clark and he really didn’t want to think about it. Not now, in his husband’s arms. 

“Penny for your thoughts?” Clark asked softly and caressed his cheek with his thumb and Bruce let the tension go and sink more against the warm body. 

“I get that Jason wants to have fun, but why does he have to drag you in it? He could have easily released surveillance feed from the Watch Tower of Batman and Superman staring at each other longingly and I wouldn’t have even said something. But Batman and Bruce Wayne…” 

Clark chuckled. “I guess watching you deal with his mess is part of the fun. He’s seen a chance and taken it without thinking about it.” 

“I might have not trained him well enough then. He should always think about the consequences of his actions!” Bruce rumbled and was tempted to pout but decided to glare at his husband instead, who was visibly amused. 

“But speaking about the surveillance feed… I remember we have some Red-Hood-Nightwing-rooftop-make-out-sessions saved on the Batcomputer,” Clark suddenly said and Bruce froze for a second, not daring to breathe.

“You mean–” he whispered.

“No one talks about Batman’s identity anymore when they hear the news about Gotham’s latest power couple.” 

“I don’t know. Bruce Wayne and Batman are hard to beat,” Bruce made sure to sound considering but not convinced yet and Clark rolled his eyes with a snort and pulled him closer. 

“Everyone loves Nightwing. And Red Hood is just enough of a bad boy that everyone will want to save the blue bird from him.”

“You sound like Jason.”

“Shut up.” 

“To the Batcave then!”

Bruce was about to tell Clark no because they could wait until the morning for their revenge, when his phone rang and was shoved into his face a second later by his husband, who raised his brows. 

“It’s Tim.” 

Sighing again, Bruce took the phone and answered the call, not even getting the device near his ear before the screaming started and he startled, along with Clark under him. 

“B! You need to get down here! Jason is trying to steal the Kryptonite to intimidate Kon! And– Fuck, Dami, put that sword down!”

“You will die tonight, Todd!”

“Your little fuckboy will give me his password one way or the other!”

“Guys, can we just chill and talk about it? Tim, babe, he’s got the stone, let’s fucking get out of here s’ long as we still can!”

He hung up.

Clark sighed. Bruce could only agree. His family was the worst. 

"Let's stop our kids from killing each other,” the Kryptonian offered with a desperate smile and tried to get up, but Bruce stayed resistant, pushing him back into the pillows. 

"I think we should let them deal with it by themselves,” he said, not willing to touch the subject anytime soon. “Tim can handle that. He’s good with his brothers. Besides, I'm already undressed." 

Clark hesitated for a moment as if he was concentrating on the sounds coming from the cave. Technically, he shouldn’t hear anything. He had helped to make it soundproof to sensible Kryptonian ears. 

"Is that so?" he asked slowly and tilted his head to the side, now smiling mischievously. 

Bruce smirked mysteriously, already pushing himself up on his forearms to connect their lips. 

"Stay in bed, love. I need you with me now."


End file.
